Test your relationship

You may be scared to say what you think, to bring up certain topics, or to say no to sex. Those signs are big red flags.

Most people think that domestic or intimate violence is only physical misdeeds. However, this it is not the case. Over time, the abuse and coercive control become a pattern of one person's dominance and power, and the other's lack of self-esteem and failure to thrive.

If you feel unsafe or recognize any of the negative signs below, take action by telling a friend – or call Danner’s hotline at 3333 0047 for help and advice about abusive behavior in relationships in Denmark.

A partner in a healthy relationship:

  • Trusts you, and can be trusted
  • Treats you with respect, no matter where you are, or who you are with
  • Is proud of you when you achieve something
  • Encourages you to keep trying with things you find hard
  • Shows you trust when you spend time away
  • Supports your hobbies
  • Respects you when you say no or disagree
  • Talks about your feelings in a respectful way
  • Gives you compliments when you are alone and in front of others
  • Has own friends and interests
  • Does not rush into a relationship
  • Asks your opinion when deciding important things that affect both of you

A partner in a violent or abusive relationship:

  • Threatens you or makes you feel scared
  • Puts you down just to make you feel bad
  • Makes you do things you do not want to do
  • Makes you feel guilty if you do not spend time with him
  • Does not try to get on with your friends or family
  • Hits, slaps or pushes you
  • Looks through your phone, social media or web history
  • Wants to know where you are all the time
  • Cheats on you or accuses you of cheating on him
  • Steals from you or makes you buy him things
  • Controls your money
  • Forces you to sexualized actions against your will

Your partner is a Danish citizen and uses this status to misinform or control you:

  • Isolates you so you are not able to learn about your rights in Denmark
  • Claims you will be expelled from Denmark, if you do not obey or follow him
  • Says your children will be taken away from you, if you do not obey him
  • Misinforms you about your legal status in Denmark
  • Refuses to help or cooperate about your application for a Danish residence permit
  • Controls your money – and misinforms you about your right to control your own money
  • Threatens with divorce if you make it difficult for him to control you
  • Prevents you from making friends of your own

You can call us all hours. Help and advice on physical violence and coercive control. Danners helpline 3333 0047
Danner is a feminist organization. We eliminate violence against women by empowerment, and by working with partners.
Danner develops training tools for in depth understanding of violence. Training and workshops can be booked.

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